A mother was left scarred after sending her son off to college in 2022, only to learn that he was tragically killed in an accident soon after.
Elizabeth Kopple penned a heartbreaking essay for HuffPost that recalled the last days of her 18-year-old son Henry’s life as he ventured off to his first year of college — an experience that should have been a joyous one for him and his family.
“He’d overcome so many challenges to get there: attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and difficulty connecting with other kids,” Kopple wrote. “As he matured, he gained confidence by participating in cross-country running, drama and debate.”
Henry arrived on the unnamed college campus earlier than most to go on a hike with a few new classmates, and Elizabeth met him on campus a week later for orientation.
Henry introduced his mom to some new friends, and they all even ate in the school’s dining hall together.
Days later, it was time for Elizabeth to fly home as the rite of passage — sending one’s oldest child off to college — had come to a close.
“I placed my hands around Henry’s middle, pressed my right cheek to his chest, closed my eyes and squeezed,” wrote Elizabeth, who is from Santa Monica, California. “At that moment, I was embracing every version of my son: chunky baby, curious toddler, zany seventh grader in braces, hungry teenager, all the rest I knew and had known.
“After one final hug — Henry’s signature move — I left for the airport.”
A few days later — on Henry’s first day of classes — he was killed underneath an unstable structure that had collapsed. Two other students also were injured.
“The middle of my chest starts to ache, the way it does when something terrible might happen. But it already has. I’ll never again feel my arms around my son’s broad shoulders. There is so much. It’s too much,” Elizabeth wrote. “In my mind, I’m still planning for parents’ weekend, Thanksgiving, sending his winter clothes, and on and on and on.”
In the past year, Elizabeth has tried to heal and help her family, including Henry’s younger brother, from the unbearable loss. But, as she described it, “I’m still living, but at a lower volume.”
“Our family has spent these months as a close-knit unit, seeking therapy, attending loss groups, and passing time with loved ones,” she wrote.
“Acquaintances reveal tragedies from their pasts, and I’m more attuned to the sadness of strangers. I’ve connected with over a dozen grieving parents in my support groups, each with a heart-wrenching story. We understand and accept each other’s losses in a way no one else can.”
Elizabeth’s other boy and only living child, after going through grief counseling, is now ready to go to college as well. He’s picked a school in Washington D.C., which is more than 2,000 miles from the Kopple family home.
Elizabeth and her husband, Chuck, elected to move to D.C. to be close to their other son by subletting the home of a professor on leave.
“We gave him the chance to say no,” she said of her younger son. “He’s not thrilled by the idea, but he agreed, as long as we keep our distance. He may recognize how important this is for our mental well-being,” Elizabeth added.
“It’s not a perfect situation, but it’s a way for our family to move forward … Maybe there are other ways — dealing with grief is different for everyone — but this is what feels right, at least for now.”
The torn mother admittedly said she’s unsure of how the future will be handled physically or emotionally.
“All I can do is wish for good days ahead and never take anything for granted,” she wrote.
“This might be the happiest I’ll ever be.”