Some singles want a hunk — a hunk of burning cash.
Gen Zers and millennials are placing an increasing emphasis on the financial health of their romantic relationships.
Having lived through continuous stages of financial uncertainty including the financial crisis of 2008, the pandemic, growing student debts, rising inflation and the current panic of millions of workers nearing retirement without savings, most singles aren’t just looking for a spark — they’re looking for “financial flames.”
“ ‘Financial flames’ are couples who embrace the fact that a solid credit score, assets and bank statements are important in a romantic relationship,” Amber Brooks, editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, told The Post.
And it isn’t just women fanning the financial flames. In fact, women are now outearning men in several cities and outpacing men in homeownership rates, which may be contributing to the changing attitudes toward finances and dating.
“This type of relationship isn’t an agreed-upon arrangement like a sugar relationship [in which men typically finance the woman], but it does acknowledge that the financial stability and success of one or both partners will play a key role in their happiness with the match,” Brooks explained.
DatingAdvice.com commissioned the nationwide Propeller Insights survey of more than 1,200 single American adults, aged 18 to 42, and found that 42% of respondents admitted financial health is something they prioritize when seeking a potential partner.
But, for many, it’s not just something on their checklist, it’s the top marker. A survey from buy-now, pay-later company Affirm found that 51% of millennials see the ability to manage money as the most attractive trait a partner could have while 49% value financial stability.
As financial literacy and stability are turning people on, nearly a quarter of singles aren’t wasting their time trying to figure out what’s in the bank, and therefore, who’s getting in bed.
A survey from TD Bank found that 27% of all respondents said they discussed finances with a potential romantic partner before showing up on their first date.
While this may shock some, the experts aren’t surprised.
“The sooner you start talking about your finances openly, the sooner you’ll get on the same page,” Courtney Alev, consumer financial advocate at Credit Karma, told The Post.
How to handle finances with your partner:
- Share your goals
- Create a timeline
- Make a budget
- Schedule weekly or monthly “financial check-ins”
“Investing time and effort upfront can help you avoid conflicts about money down the line, which is one of the top sources of conflict in relationships,” Alev added. “Understanding each other’s financial situations, liabilities and goals, along with making a plan for how to share expenses in your life together, will set you up for success in the future while avoiding surprises or resentment.”
In fact, more than a third of Gen Zers and millennials say they would break up with their partner if they did not share the same money values as them (38% and 36%, respectively), according to a study from Intuit Credit Karma.
“It makes sense, especially in the context of the American financial landscape, that daters don’t want to fall for someone who would ultimately hold them back from their goals and aspirations,” Brooks explained to The Post.
“Daters have a lot of criteria to consider when looking for a partner, and it’s naive to say those decisions are all about lovey-dovey feelings and not about finances, even a little bit.”
While the wide array of dating apps would appear to help younger adults find their one and only, the endless possibilities of swiping right have actually made it more difficult for young adults to settle down.
Judith Gottesman, a matchmaker, dating coach and author, explained that the convenience of dating apps has led people to see one another as disposable and can lead to burnout.
“If you just go on date after date after date, it feels like endless possibilities, but you’re actually more likely to burn out sooner because you’re just going on a bunch of random bad dates, having negative experiences and wasting a lot of time and money,” Gottesman told The Post.
To avoid dating burnout, she noted, daters should be more selective when deciding what apps to use and who to choose.
And being realistic about how your date’s financial situation aligns with yours can help to narrow down your love matches, too.
“If a financial flame can support the lifestyle you desire, that’s undeniably hot!” Brooks confirmed.
