Astrology

How to find your Black Moon Lilith and leverage its feral sex power

Let’s take a little walk in the desert at dark my friends, we’re talking Black Moon Lilith.

If you are reading this (firstly, thank you) you are likely versed in the basics of the birth chart and are familiar with your planets, ascendants, ruling elements and zodiac houses. The banished sex magic and desire as power Black Moon Lilith is a level up and an incomparable unlock to understanding.

In astronomy, Black Moon Lilith is not a planet, luminary or matter at all but rather the point along the moon’s orbit when it is furthest from the earth.

As Elise Wells of Planet Poetica explains, “Think of the moon as a stone in a slingshot, as far back as you can pull that band is where Black Moon Lilith is found.”

Or, if you’re a fancy kind of f–k, the position of the mean lunar apogee as measured from the geocenter.

In astrology, Black Moon Lilith, abbreviated as BML and also known as Lilith, and the Dark Moon indicate our wild selves, our primordial urge to create and destroy in the continuum, the shadow side of human sexuality, our assigned shame, unconscious mind, secreted desires and reservoirs of power.

Who is Lilith?

Black Moon Lilith is named for the first wife of Adam who refused to submit to him sexually or psychically.
Getty Images

In Jewish and Mesopotamian folklore, Lilith was the first woman brought into being and the original wife of Adam. Unlike her successor Eve, who was made from Adam’s rib, Lilith was created from the earth itself. A natural redhead Lilith rightly and righteously considered herself Adam’s equal and would not submit to him, physically or psychically.

“Why must I lie beneath you?” she asked. “I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.”

Upsetting the power dynamic by refusing to bottom for some bro she either levitated herself out of that housewife s–t or was punished by the almighty and cast out of the Garden of Eden. Exiled, she found solace in the desert and in the company of demons (fun).

Writer Susan Scott espouses, “Both men and women have suffered because of the repression of the feminine principle. Oddly enough, this served for the arising of ego-consciousness as masculine values of perception, behavior and feeling came to be of supreme value.”

The aim is befriend the shadow self and welcome it back to the garden.

Elise Wells

Maligned by men and villainized throughout history, Lilith was reclaimed by feminist writers and activists in the 20th century and has since come to stand as an icon of self-liberation. The name Lilith translates to night monster or evening creature (band name) and in astrology operates as a synonym for power, subversion, shadow work, courage and a refusal to submit.

Elise Wells, citing Jungian concepts explains, “Even though she’s gendered as female, Lilith unlocks these aspects in every being as she embodies the repressed feminine gifts that we all have. It’s important to note that there is a feminine energy innate to everything, and what you repress, you project. The aim is to befriend the shadow self and welcome it back to the garden. Remaining in exile or ignored, this faction of the self can quickly turn into the monster of lore. If you befriend her, she will lend you her power. In choosing to notice her and work with her you can begin the process of integration and exaltation.”

It is interesting to note that because Lilith didn’t eat from the tree of knowledge, because she was busy having hot demon sex by the Red Sea, she is therefore free of original sin and mortality.

What does Black Moon Lilith symbolize?

As punishment for her “disobedience,” Lilith was cast out of Eden and into the desert.
iStockphoto

Because of its association with the OG, cowgirl in reverse, expelled for rebellion flame-haired baddy Lilith, the BML sign is expressly tied to the taboo and the explicitly sexual. While sexuality and shadow are certainly relative, Lilith is above all else about the untamed, the defiant, the free. It is the primitive and pure, the subconscious desires we have been taught to hide away or be ashamed of. Embracing Lilith means unlearning exile.

Iva Naskova, astrologer and relationship guide at Nebula, a platform that braids together astrological insights and practical guidance explains, “In the birth chart, your Black Moon Lilith’s sign and house placement reveal areas where your hidden inner power lies. Or, to be precise, areas where you can become empowered and able to stand out from the rest of the crowd, but you often struggle or experience resistance when you try.”

Just as Lilith was cast out from the garden so too do we attempt to exile rather than integrate these parts of ourselves. BML also relates to the aggregate experience of past lives and the karma we’ve accrued.

Lilith is the feral howl that has been silenced in the interest of propriety.

“Lilith is not bad or frightful in any way. Yes, it does represent past trauma and the darkest parts of yourself, but it also lends you the strength to embrace the worst in you and heal yourself. She relates to hidden knowledge, 6th sense, intuition, and psychic abilities.” Naskova continues, “Knowing about the placement of your Lilith can help you make Lilith work in your favor.”

All of the factions of our selfhood are valuable and deserving of exploration and expression in ways that serve us. Exorcisms and integration, owning shame and leveraging fear folks, Lilith is the feral howl that has been silenced in the interest of propriety.

How to find your Black Moon Lilith

You can find your Black Moon Lilith sign using a calculator like the one provided by CafeAstrology.com. Simply enter your birth date, time and location. Within the birth chart, the wholly heavy metal symbol for BML is a waxing crescent moon sitting pretty atop an inverted crucifix.

How does Black Moon Lilith express itself through each of the zodiac signs

Lilith in Aries 

Prince Harry has BML in Aries.
Getty Images

For Lilith in Aries, sex is conquest and victory is power. Ruled by Mars and operating from a place of instinct this Lilith is bold with a propensity towards provocation as a means to break down limiting norms. This placement suggests a strong will and difficulty managing anger and impulse or sympathizing with the lived experience of others. This is a no-quarter Lilith hell-bent on advancement. Elise Wells expounds, “There is an intimacy to combat. Aries is about the proving ground but this placement cannot lose sight of what the fight is for.” The red-headed royal formerly known as Prince Harry and mistress of the blunt bang Anna Wintour both have Lilith in Aries.

Lilith in Taurus 

Lady Gaga has BML in Taurus.
Getty Images for Park MGM Las Ve

Lilith in Taurus is ruled by Venus, vested in the sensual and driven by the absolute pursuit of pleasure. There can be a dark undercurrent of insatiability. Possessiveness, of people, power, and resources are an indicator of Lilith in Taurus as is a tendency to hold on and stay put longer than is healthy/necessary. Over the top and still not feeling like enough, issues of worth, worthiness, and control are present when Lilith languishes here. Wells expands, “Meditate on how it is more meaningful to love something through and because of its impermanence. Having does not mean keeping.” Lady Gaga and Kanye West have Lilith in Taurus.

Lilith in Gemini 

Megan Fox has BML in Gemini.
Getty Images

Lilith in Gemini is hungry, ruled by Mercury it is ever seeking stimulation and communion. It lives for play, changing forms and needs ever and always to have an escape hatch. There is a tendency here to weaponize cognition, feed from the fumes of rumors and use superficial connection to evade deeper intimacy. Mercury is the mind yet Lilith operates from a primal, preconscious place. Lilith in Gemini plays to extremes and runs hot and cold in attentions and affections as if it is volleying between instinct and intellect. As Wells explains, “For them, love exists first in the mind. They can use their gift of movement and the element of air to remember that they are made of more than brain matter. Meaningful connection exists beyond the mind, its current runs throughout the entire body and all of the senses.” Megan Fox and Timothée Chalamet have Lilith in Gemini.

Lilith in Cancer

Jay-Z has BML in Cancer.
Getty Images for The Rock and Ro

Lilith in the sign of the moon mother makes for a true powder keg/poison apple of the feminine. There is great empathy, a child’s gift for emotional manipulation and a dark need to be needed when Lilith lives in this sign. There is a real danger of over-identifying with the victim, operating as a martyr, or giving beyond capacity and without reciprocity.

Wells explains, “Once they have a grip on boundaries within their control and conversely the rhythms beyond it; they are able to let their healing powers flow.” Though their energies wax and wane they benefit from having a consistent anchor to hold and feed them. Princess Diana and Jay Z have Lilith in Cancer.

Lilith in Leo

Marilyn Monroe had BML in Leo.
Getty Images

Sex is an act of creation for Lilith in Leo and they want to be seen and worshipped in accordance with their regal bearing while simultaneously feeling shame for wanting to be admired. Wells recommends, “To make sure the spotlight is flattering rather than degrading; make sure you’re meditating regularly on what you want to reveal/be seen for, rather than allowing yourself to be consumed without consent.” Marilyn Monroe and Barack Obama both have Lilith in Leo.

Lilith in Virgo 

Lion queen Kylie Jenner has BML in Virgo.
Getty Images

Lilith in Virgo is concerned with refinement and often sacrifices the practice of self-love in pursuit of an ideal and especially upon the altar of an ideal lover. It is in this pursuit that they lose sight of the progress they have made and the pleasure they deserve.

Passion cannot flourish in the field of perfection

Elise Wells

Wells writes, “Your meditation is that passion cannot flourish in the field of perfection. This Lilith can focus exclusively on treating the ails of others and fail to apply that same dedication and mastery to their own needs.” Kylie Jenner and William Shakespeare have Lilith in Virgo.

Lilith in Libra 

Kim Kardashian has BML in Libra nearly exactly conjunct her sun.
Getty Images for Louis Vuitton

Lilith in Libra is ruled by Venus and in kind innately understands what others need to feel good. Libra is the sign of relationships and this Lilith is guilty of seeking approval from their partners while simultaneously resenting themselves for needing it. PSA: You do not need permission to exist and you are someone even if no one loves you.

“Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.”

Audre Lorde

Wells explains, “Equality does not come from concession, and choosing yourself is actually attractive and magnetive.” Under the influence of Libra, there’s a tendency to conflate aesthetic appeal with inherent goodness and a deep fear of being extra, of scaring others with your exuberance. Wells recommends the meditation/medicine for this Lilith can be found in the words of Audrey Lorde, “Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.” Kim Kardashian and Chris Brown have Lilith in Libra.

Lilith in Scorpio

Lil Nas X has Lilith in Scorpio.
Getty Images for iHeartRadio

Lilith in Scorpio indicates the dark queen finding her exalted underworld throne, no place to hide, everything to uncover. It’s a beautiful thing, folks. There’s a tendency to isolate with this placement but transformation often requires communion. This sign has no fear of the dark but resists being seen, people trust you with their most intimate secrets but you struggle to be equally bare. Lil Nas X and Beyoncé Knowles have Lilith in Scorpio.

Lilith in Sagittarius

Britney Spears has BML conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius.
Isaac Brekken

Like Sagittarius energy en masse, Lilith in Sagittarius wants to have a good time all of the time, Spinal Tap style. The underbelly of this want is a disavowal of the processes of pain that lead to greater understanding and personal evolution. This is a Lilith that tries to force fun but if they can suffer in the suck they’re able to discern their true desires rather than submit to their favorite distractions. Exploration over escape, accountability before frivolity, and introspection as the path to freedom. Wells expounds, “This Lilith has a quest nature, they want to find truth in people and experience but part of that requires logging and loving the miles it takes to get there.” Britney Spears and Freddie Mercury have Lilith in Sagittarius.

Lilith in Capricorn 

Keanu Reeves has BML in Capricorn.
AFP/Getty Images

Lilith in Capricorn indicates lone wolf strategist energy. Because Capricorn is tied to Saturn and the tenth house of vocation, there can be a drive towards achievement at the expense of emotional availability, of assigning worth to what you’ve done rather than who you are. In relationships, the need for control can supersede the expression of tenderness and care that it is ultimately born from. Sweetness, in reception and extension, is not weakness. Keanu Reeves and Tyra Banks have Lilith in Capricorn.

Lilith in Aquarius

Triple Scorpio (!!!) Björk has BML in Aquarius.
Getty Images Portrait

Lilith in Aquarius is here to learn that being free and being fully the self does not equate to being alone. Aquarius is directly tied to communities and activism. Your weird is your own AND if you apply it to working with and for others you will find true satisfaction. Do not be afraid to speak or share even and especially when you fear judgment or rejection. Wells reports, “There is serious power to be a rebel with a cause. This placement is not solely about handling your own sexuality but accessing avant-garde means to heal the collective sexual psyche.” Björk (obviously) and James Dean have Lilith in Aquarius.

Lilith in Pisces 

Harry Styles has BML in Pisces.
Getty Images for The Recording Academy

Lilith in Pisces is transcendental, she is here to dissolve shame and swim naked and unafraid in the liminal spaces between dreams and bodies, oceans and galaxies. Highly attuned to the spiritual, the esoteric and all manner of the beyond, you may get lost in the sauce of your own fantasies and or/the muck and mire of people you cannot see clearly or separate yourself from completely. Alternatively, you may suppress these gifts and resist these realms in an attempt to meet the expectations of the status quo. Denying or exiling your senses will only make the spirits bang louder on the door. Wells elaborates, “You can invite people to ride the waves without drowning yourself.”Harry Styles and Angelina Jolie have Lilith in Pisces.


Astrology 101: Your guide to the star


Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.